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5 years ago William Shakespeare 0

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You can't quite make out the words, but it doesn't matter because the voices are now drowned out by the sounds of a rickety chainsaw sputtering to life. You're pretty sure this is all part of the act, but dang if you're heart's not beating out your chest. Penn AND Teller take you by the hand to help you out. You don't even notice that they've cut you clean in half. You don't even care! There you are, legs stage left and torso rolling around on the floor, and you'll be darned if you don't feel brand new again. As you start to process the whole wild adventure, Penn begins uttering a string of incantations in a voice as elemental as the roiling core of the earth itself. There you are, looking up from your watch, sitting in your original seat, legs and torso intact. But what's this? Now you're the only one in the theater. It's nothing but you and the barrel now. You don't know it yet, but it's forty years later, the theater has been abandoned, and your children are grown.

They will never understand what you've been through, just as you will never fully comprehend the impact your disappearance had on their formative years. But none of that matters now. You haven't aged and it's the future. Plus, like we said, you still don't know about how it's 40 years later yet. Where is my family? Who is the president? Do we even have presidents anymore? It's then that an elderly bellhop, wizened and stooped as a gnarled oak, shuffles up to you. He lays his hand on your shoulder and you swear you can hear the crinkling of his vellum skin. It is Penn. In perhaps the reediest voice you've ever heard, he says, "Listen. I can't even remember if I'm the one who talked or didn't talk in our act, and even though I can access Future Wikipedia through my in-brain Bio-WiFi, I just don't really have the time or inclination to do it.

Author: William Shakespeare

Linkedin: William Shakespeare